Los Bastardos take home the trophy over the Lobbers!
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7,8 Bastards win in 9
What makes a championship team? After the Bastard 2016 improbable run, I can safely say the answer looks to be mostly luck.
Was it a roll of the dice? Andrea “Hap” Hazard (from Old French, hasart “game of chance played with dice”) embraced bench management for the playoffs and rolled out a 14 player lineup that was a singles machine on offence and, despite ruthlessly democratic sits, never wanted on defence. Was it girl power? Starting with “The Hammer” Emily’s 2 run jill that cleared the warning track in centre field versus the Pornos, to late-inning clutch-hits by “Sahara” Darroch and “Dashly” Formosa, to Crandle Cakes making a living going oppo taco all series – even with clever Lobber Jen “Long Sox” waiting in ambush in shallow right.
Maybe it was veteran savvy? With 100 plus years (way more actually) of combined Bushball experience one could say that the veteran leadership guided this team to victory despite all available evidence. Was it consistency with the likes of Brett “Hit Man” Harding getting on base all but twice throughout the entire 5 game run? Was it irony? Lobbers’ “Screwball” Skel, who owned the front of the plate all season, vacuuming up grounders back to the mound was literally Kowalled by same in the finals. Was it cruel fate? With injuries to starters Cara and Jeremy and later, Skel, the Lobbers were not in their prime mid-season form. Thankfully, neither were we. Coming off a 7-8 season none of us Bastards thought we had a chance at the Pistol Pete going in, but there it is glittering like a rare and inexpensive jewel before me. Wyrd bið ful āræd.
The final game did not start well for us at all. We plated one run in the first and held them scoreless in the bottom. Then the wheels fell off. Lefty who was unhittable last week became incredibly hittable. Line drive after line drive interspersed with untimely errors led to the Lobbers taking a commanding 12-4 lead by the end of the 6th inning. Skel was dealing us hands of 2’s and 3’s until the lucky/unlucky 7th. After Emily’s lead off single, Matt “Funny Man” Kowall reached out in front of the plate for a ball and lined a bullet into Skel’s ankle. It was then I thought that maybe, just maybe, our luck might change. And it did. Suddenly The Skel was hittable and we ran up a 7 spot to come within a single run of the L’s. The bottom of the seventh we gave 3 back to the Lobbers, but in the 8th Max “Prairie Boy” Kowall also jumped out at a pitch in front of the plate and slammed an even harder drive off Skel’s other ankle, collapsing him in a heap. Team leader Shauna “Not the Donald” Trupp, showed what leadership is by literally giving the shirt off her back to help her downed team mate. Still, on two unsteady stilts, Skel valiantly continued to pitch the inning and but we managed to plate 4 more runs to tie the game.
Then the real miracle begins. Lefty reaches back and shuts out the Lobbers in the bottom of the 8th. In to the top of the ninth, with runners on first and third with one out, Earl “The Real Bastard” Pastko comes to the plate with the game on the line. Brimming with something other than confidence, Earl grounded into a run-scoring fielders-choice. When I told him that he scored what might prove to be the game winning RBI Earl cried, “I could have done better” which was, after Earl’s performance in the playoffs, maybe an exaggeration. But it would prove to be all we need going into the ninth up a run–17 to 16.
You don’t often see strikeouts in this league. But at the same time, I have never seen anyone throw the kind of pitches Lefty was throwing in that ninth inning. The ball seemed to be travelling in impossibly slow motion, held by invisible strings. The first 2 batters, both men–able hitters, struck out. I mean they didn’t look like they had a chance. But it wasn’t over yet. Skel hobbled to the plate and managed to line a hit up the middle, running to first but carried off in a litter once there. Then it came down to the chief herself with the game on the line. She made good contact but right to the “Hit Man” at short – a soft toss to second and the championship was ours.
For the Bastards–a complete team effort. Everyone contributed and Pete “The Magic Dragon” Unwin wins playoff MVP in a walk off.
7,8 Bastards win in 9
What makes a championship team? After the Bastard 2016 improbable run, I can safely say the answer looks to be mostly luck.
Was it a roll of the dice? Andrea “Hap” Hazard (from Old French, hasart “game of chance played with dice”) embraced bench management for the playoffs and rolled out a 14 player lineup that was a singles machine on offence and, despite ruthlessly democratic sits, never wanted on defence. Was it girl power? Starting with “The Hammer” Emily’s 2 run jill that cleared the warning track in centre field versus the Pornos, to late-inning clutch-hits by “Sahara” Darroch and “Dashly” Formosa, to Crandle Cakes making a living going oppo taco all series – even with clever Lobber Jen “Long Sox” waiting in ambush in shallow right.
Maybe it was veteran savvy? With 100 plus years (way more actually) of combined Bushball experience one could say that the veteran leadership guided this team to victory despite all available evidence. Was it consistency with the likes of Brett “Hit Man” Harding getting on base all but twice throughout the entire 5 game run? Was it irony? Lobbers’ “Screwball” Skel, who owned the front of the plate all season, vacuuming up grounders back to the mound was literally Kowalled by same in the finals. Was it cruel fate? With injuries to starters Cara and Jeremy and later, Skel, the Lobbers were not in their prime mid-season form. Thankfully, neither were we. Coming off a 7-8 season none of us Bastards thought we had a chance at the Pistol Pete going in, but there it is glittering like a rare and inexpensive jewel before me. Wyrd bið ful āræd.
The final game did not start well for us at all. We plated one run in the first and held them scoreless in the bottom. Then the wheels fell off. Lefty who was unhittable last week became incredibly hittable. Line drive after line drive interspersed with untimely errors led to the Lobbers taking a commanding 12-4 lead by the end of the 6th inning. Skel was dealing us hands of 2’s and 3’s until the lucky/unlucky 7th. After Emily’s lead off single, Matt “Funny Man” Kowall reached out in front of the plate for a ball and lined a bullet into Skel’s ankle. It was then I thought that maybe, just maybe, our luck might change. And it did. Suddenly The Skel was hittable and we ran up a 7 spot to come within a single run of the L’s. The bottom of the seventh we gave 3 back to the Lobbers, but in the 8th Max “Prairie Boy” Kowall also jumped out at a pitch in front of the plate and slammed an even harder drive off Skel’s other ankle, collapsing him in a heap. Team leader Shauna “Not the Donald” Trupp, showed what leadership is by literally giving the shirt off her back to help her downed team mate. Still, on two unsteady stilts, Skel valiantly continued to pitch the inning and but we managed to plate 4 more runs to tie the game.
Then the real miracle begins. Lefty reaches back and shuts out the Lobbers in the bottom of the 8th. In to the top of the ninth, with runners on first and third with one out, Earl “The Real Bastard” Pastko comes to the plate with the game on the line. Brimming with something other than confidence, Earl grounded into a run-scoring fielders-choice. When I told him that he scored what might prove to be the game winning RBI Earl cried, “I could have done better” which was, after Earl’s performance in the playoffs, maybe an exaggeration. But it would prove to be all we need going into the ninth up a run–17 to 16.
You don’t often see strikeouts in this league. But at the same time, I have never seen anyone throw the kind of pitches Lefty was throwing in that ninth inning. The ball seemed to be travelling in impossibly slow motion, held by invisible strings. The first 2 batters, both men–able hitters, struck out. I mean they didn’t look like they had a chance. But it wasn’t over yet. Skel hobbled to the plate and managed to line a hit up the middle, running to first but carried off in a litter once there. Then it came down to the chief herself with the game on the line. She made good contact but right to the “Hit Man” at short – a soft toss to second and the championship was ours.
For the Bastards–a complete team effort. Everyone contributed and Pete “The Magic Dragon” Unwin wins playoff MVP in a walk off.